Guttermouth LYRICS

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Guttermouth - 1, 2, 3... Slam! - lyrics

Okay, heres the story about my mom and dad
One was white
One was black
I bet you think youre glad
Im a half breed, my skin is fair yet tan
I dont know what the hell Im on
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!
Kinky hair when I wake up
Straight when I go to bed
My dad speaks jive talk to me, dont know what he just said
My mother shes a honkey
My dads kentucky fried
I dont know what the hell Im on
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!
Back at home its black eyed peas with a pot roast on the side
Its hot dogs on friday nights
The chickens country fried
My dad says yo boy pass the peas!
My mom says pass the squash
I need something to ease the pain
So Ill go downtown and get some downers
Whoa, man, Im a little bit slow
But Ive got to get up somehow
Got no money
Just a good idea
Let me tell you how
Ill steal my parents credit cards
Oh yes Ill rip them off
Ill go downtown to where dad works
And get myself some cocaine
Now Im high, and Im not shy
Ill get it off my chest
My mom is white, she thinks shes right
She thinks that shes the best
My dad is just a negro, hes not one to play golf
I dont know what the hell I am
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!

Guttermouth - BBB - lyrics

hatred is okay disobey disobey i'm *****ing pissed break somthing today always look pissed don't dress nice don't be helpful carry a knife nerver think possitive get *****ing wasted harm yourself quit *****ing school harm yourself steal a car harm yourself ignore your family harm yourself sleep all day worship dead junkies in shitty bands worship dead junkies in shitty bands worship dead junkies in shitty bands kill your *****in self. boots, bondage and basic reading skills

Guttermouth - American Made - lyrics

Well, I got myself a new car
Of course its 44 years old
Its currently not running
But its worth its weight in gold
Its colored prim(er)
But its all min(er)
I paid 10 grand
For this tina can
Come payday shell be runnin
V8s milkshakes, yeehaw!
Fuzzy dice, jesus christ, yeehaw!
Well shes really lookin good
Just sitting on my lawn
All I need is everything
It shouldnt take me long ha ha!
Maybe by summ(er)
Ill find a bump(er)
This piece of shit
It aint worth it
I shouldve bought a datsun
No brakes shortcake, yeehaw!
You *****ing idiot!
You *****ing idiot!
You *****ing idiot!
You *****ing idiot!
Runs strong but not too long, yeehaw!
Flat tire new its on fire, yeehaw!

Guttermouth - Baker's Dozen - lyrics

Oh my god
Im confused
I wanna go punk
But theres way too many rules
Pardon me
Mr. punker
Im looking for some insight
On the core thats right for me
Tell me please
Im down on my knees
I like my beer
I like my steer
I dont want any holes in my face
Im no queer
I bought some docs
Black flag rocks
Mosh and crowd surf
I wanna be unusual, I wanna be punk rock
I wanna be unusual, I wanna be punk rock
Should I be emo
And just cry?
Maybe Ill go ska core
And skank until I die
How bout hardcore? really hardcore
I *****in hate that metal shit
Sober vegans you all suck!
So whats your core?
Stupid whore
You must be a riot girl
Youre not very funny
Nice tatoo
Use some shampoo
Rice cakes, soy milk
Go sid vicious
Ska core
Snow core
Hard core
Homo core
Alba core
I cant take it anymore
My core
Your core
This core
That core
One core
I cant take it!!

Guttermouth - A Day At The Office - lyrics

Out in the backyard yesterday
Trimming the hedge while the neighbors kids were in the pool
The power cord got a little close to water edge
And sent 10,000 volts down little billys spine
He was only nine
Better luck next time
Woke up one sunday afternoon
The families gone on a hunting trip for caribou
Broke out the ladder gonna patch some holes up on the roof
I slipped and fell and landed on the ground
No one was around
When will I be found
Im sure not glad it happened
But Im happy as can be
That it look the life from someone else
Better than me
Bought a home right by the plant
They said shed never blow again like she did before
Perhaps they spoke a bit too soon
Cause half passed noon
She blew like hell and then the sky turned red
Toxins overhead everybodys dead, everybodys dead
Pleasant dreams and thanks for listening

Guttermouth - A Nice Place To Visit - lyrics

I take a look around
Think of places I have been
There really arent too many
I would like to see again
Ive been to 30
8 of 50 states
Most of them Id shut down
3 or 4 of them are great
Back on the east coast
Dcs a little shit hole
Youll freeze to death in jersey
But floridas the best
I think I would rather have
Prostate cancer
Than visit oklahoma
Its those sooners I detest
When I see the coast
Im at home at last
Take the lincoln monument
And cram it up your ass
Jesus-mother*****ing-christ, a giant ball of yarn!
Dont forget to see that thing
When youre on your way to yuma
Koa is a-ok
But they aint got no shoneys
I love turquoise
And shells of abalone
Testicular tumors
Sound so much nicer
Than seeing dollywood
In the hills of tennessee
Sentence me to life
In a tijuana prison
I dont really care
Feed doritos to the bears
Fireworks here and there
California is for me
M-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-(fart!)-i!
Zillions of mosquitos are
Gnawing on my thigh
I really love antiquing
I bought some decoy ducks
In some states your sister
Is the only one you *****
The nascar whores of north carolina
With ovarian cysts
The size of missouri
Do yourself and stay in california
Bye...bye...bye....goodbye!

Guttermouth - A Perfect World - lyrics

if i lived in a perfect world i would spend my days lying in the sun the party never ends in a perfect world if your life has hit the skids wave goodbye to the wife & kids i'm ready to move into a perfect world nacho cheese and anarchy boy that sure sounds good to me every kind of drug is free in the new america shoot your pistol in the air celebrate a brand new year living leisurely in a perfect world everybody's drinking hams good by all you straight edge bands sit around and get a tan in the new america when i turn on my t.v. nothing but pornography no more rated "g" in a perfect world strung out hookers everywhere have a picnic feed the bears now nobody even cares in the new america nothing in this worlds for free cause everything belongs to me no more green fees in a perfect world

Guttermouth - Abort Mission - lyrics

Its friday night, Ive got a date
With this vegan girl katee
You know I really like her style
Smile, style
Oh, I love you, kate
But youve gone too far
You wont even sit in my brand new car
Its got reclining bucket seats
And a cd player, so whats your *****ing beef?
Is it my cozy leather seats?
Is it the covers made from sheep?
Ok, I guess that we can walk, and walk, and walk
What kind of guy do you think I am?
You only take off your shoes when youre in japan
I bought this outfit just for you
So what if theyre suede?
And now my jacket too
So what am I supposed to do?
Ill freeze to death and catch the flu
Ok, Ill do it just for you
We made it out and we had an ok time
I caught pneumonia and a mild case of frostbite
She said Im sorry, mark. I hope that you pull through
Next time we go out please just wear some different shoes
I tried to ***** her and you know what happened then
She said that condom youve gots made from a lambs skin
So whats your problem?
Last friday night, you know I had a date
It was with this vegan girl
I think her name was kate
If youre lookin for some action, or if you wanna score
Just eat some bark and acorns
And she will like you more than me!

Guttermouth - Big Pink Dress - lyrics

Howdy folks its me again got a message to convey
Im so confused whats to lose I think I might turn gay
On the day my ***** left
She said stick in your rear
She never thought shed hear these words
Ooh your mustache is so tickly down there
(drill my ass)
Oh God its tight
(drill my ass)
This is my first time
(drill my ass)
Love you - love you too
Live with bill its such a thrill
We get it on so fine
We tend our garden everyday
Sometimes in 69
Play dress up and have puppet shows
We skip and dance and sing
Hes so helpful, shaves my back
Mark its my turn to wear the cowboy hat
(its so hard)
The way he holds me
(its so hard)
I could just die
(its so hard)
Then we go drinking
And we start thinking
But doin it liberace
Then we bake a quiche
We went to church he held my hand
I gazed into his eyes
He kissed my ear, I said oh dear
My shaft began to rise
He whispered lets get married
I squeaked and shouted yes
Suddenly our lives a mess
He wore a tux, I wore a big pink dress
(drill my ass)
Not sure Im right
(drill my ass)
What was I thinking
(drill my ass)
I like bull fights
(drill my ass)
No more knitting
(drill my ass)
No more skipping
I tried it once, for a whole six months
But so long moustache!

Guttermouth - Black Enforcers - lyrics

we run with the night
everybody knows we run with the night
we enforce in the night
everybody knows we enforce in the night
black enforcers
we enforce by the night
got got got no pity on you
if you don't know the handshake
we will know that you don't know the handshake
9 times against the wall
everybody knows its 9 times
black enforcers
raise your palm and swipe
we enforce with artillery force
everybody knows jay santos
we enforce the enforcer's way
we will know that you don't know the enforcer's way
black enforcers
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